As many times as I've tried to explain my desire for pilgrimage, I have never found just the right words to express my thoughts and feelings about the act of physically walking toward and to God's house.
Yes, it is physically hard to walk long distances. But, it is good for the body to move and keep moving. It is excellent for my mental health to prove I can do hard things, I can even do more than I think I can.
Yes, the churches are beyond earthly beauty. Even the simplest of buildings speak to the grandeur and awe their builders and patrons have for the Lord. One of the church's pillars for conversion is beauty. The beauty of the churches and tabernacles reach inside my very soul and give it peace. As a non-artist, I can appreciate the technical applications of the artists and builders without feeling envy for their God-given talents.
Yes, there is nature, humanity, and experiences of living out my Catholic faith along the way. I have found myself inviting others to Mass, praying the Rosary as we walk, and practicing charity and love with those around me and people I encounter along the way. While I carry my cell phone, listening to what I call "move music" for motivation when the trail gets difficult or snap an occasional picture, I purposefully turn it off and spend time in the moment and with the people walking with me. Deeply, I want to know them, know their story, and listen to their heart for as much as they want to share it with me. I become digitally disconnected and humanly connected.
All of these aspects of the journey are good and just. They are not the reason I am a pilgrim.
I am a pilgrim to deepen my connection to God. I seek Him in my journey, rather than just the destination. I find myself going out, experiencing the physical, mental, and spiritual hills/mountains and valleys as I walk.
The struggle is good. I need to find the point where I realize that all my physical training isn't enough. Often, it only gets me through the first couple of days because, invariably, I end up with some sort of injury in the weeks leading up to my journey which leaves me unable to train. Getting older is certainly not for the weak!
Eventually, I reach the point of questioning my choices around walking 100 miles during a trip. Then, I have to surrender it all to the Lord if I'm going to complete the journey. It is at that surrender point that the greatest peace comes from the Holy Spirit. The physical pain and struggle continues. Blisters develop. I wonder if I'm going to make it to the day's finishing point. I even consider if I'm doing more harm to my body than good.
But He never fails. He sends me walking companions so I can focus on their story more than my own. He sends me trail angels who provide a place to sit, a cold water, and fresh fruit. He provides a shade tree for rest from the sun. He provides a breeze where moments before there was none. He provides friends to pray with along the way.
Pilgrimage is so much more than walking and arriving at beautiful churches. It is the seeking throughout the journey that makes me long to return to the adventure immediately when it ends.
"Oh Lord...our hearts are restless till they find rest in Thee." St. Augustine of Hippo, Confessions
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